Do you ever have that ‘empty nest’ feeling?

That ‘Empty Nest’ feeling can happen way before the kids leave home, especially in September when the children are back at school.

I hope you enjoy reading my first blog which will give you lots of practical and very effective ways of coping with these natural feelings.

Empty Nest

This is a phrase we have heard our Mothers, Grandma’s and Aunties talk about many times when they reminisce about the old days. They would joke about the house becoming cleaner and having much more money, but in reality they were saddened by the time. I never thought it would happen to me but I think it happens to everyone in different measures, depending on their circumstances.

For many women it happens when their children reach school age and suddenly they have 6 hours to fill, for others when they leave for University and they have a whole 10 weeks without them.

There are many emotions that we can go through as Mums and Dads, feelings of time just passing us by and nostalgia about the past, what used to be busy and loud times now has a silence that creeps in and a feeling of doubt about our own future seems to loom. It is no surprise that people refer to this time in their life as the ‘Empty Nest’ feeling.

These feelings are normal!

If you take a different perspective here and look at it with a completely new frame of mind you might be able to turn most of them into a positive.

  • More time on your hands means new time for you
  • Less time entertaining and cleaning after the children and teenagers
  • Time to meet new people from different walks of life
  • Time to retrain and go back to college
  • Time to explore a new hobby
  • Time to get fitter and look after your own health more
  • Time to redecorate
  • Time to meet with friends that you have lost touch with
  • Time to make a difference to other people other than your close community

And the list goes on…

What is absolute though, is:

You now have options and if you look at them from the perspective of opportunity then the old cliché ‘the future is bright’ might not be too far wrong.

Some of you might be saying “that all sounds really easy but how can I do all of the above when I feel so sad and lethargic and negative about things? Or how can I do all of the above when I have no confidence and only know what I have done for the past 10 years? “

All these feelings are real and genuine and they are barriers that will stop you from enjoying your life in the future if you let them. Procrastination is also a killer when it comes to making slight changes and again will stop you finding a way to fill your days with new purpose.

How can you change and improve this Frame of Mind?

There are countless ways to do this and they are all personal and individual to you. You need to take control and become self aware of the things that make you feel happy, that drive you, that energize you and then try and incorporate them into your lives. You also need to be aware that procrastinating about doing the things we don’t like leads to guilt and negative feelings which are also detrimental to your frame of mind. So although many of the things on your list can be enjoyable, some should be things that you know will make you feel better once they are completed.

Top Tips for lifting your frame of mind:

  • Get up and plan your day and write it down (gives you an actual purpose)
  • Do some exercise, any exercise, a walk, a bike ride, the gym, a dance class.
  • Meet a friend that makes you laugh, one that lifts you not drains you
  • Treat yourself to something small, a new lipstick, new trainers for new exercise, have your nails done, a facial but choose something that you love
  • Help someone, do a good deed, check this link out and see how many great volunteer roles there are now:
  • Find out about or even try a completely new hobby that you think you might
  • Pick a job that needs doing that you have been putting off and do it
  • Think of 5 things that you are grateful for
  • Watch a funny programme, that you know makes you laugh, or see what’s trending on you tube that’s funny
  • At the end of the day when you are exhausted, tick them off the list and enjoy your new sense of purpose

These are only general ideas and your list has to be pertinent to you. The most important thing to remember here is that you are firstly making a plan which gives you purpose, you are thinking about things that lift your mood and then you are acting on the list. When you tick off the things you have accomplished then you will experience a natural high and it feels good.

There is a definite process that you can follow that will definitely help you to improve your frame of mind so that you can find your new purpose and fulfilment in your life. You will be surprised how making small changes in your routine can have dramatic changes to your happiness in life.

I hope you have enjoyed my first blog and continue to read them each week. If you think you need help in moving into an even better place in your life then seriously consider coming on one of our unique coaching programmes for women at Choose U.